Not many people may know this, but my good friend Greg Tedesco was once an accomplished poet. He was once heralded as the Alexander Pope of our time; the true king of rhyme. Unfortunately, his astronomical rise to celebrity was too much to handle at such a young age, and in an attempt to get his life back on track before he lost control of the reins, he hung up his ink and feather and retreated from the world of poetic expression. Such is the tragedy of our modern age, when the celebrity culture sucks the soul and talent from our generation's brightest lights. In honour of that brief period of time in which his works embraced the axiom of Neil Young's "It's better to burn out, than it is to rust," I reply by saying "the king is gone but he's not forgotten," and posting one of his seasonal gems from the vault. Enjoy.
The Sad Valentine’s Day Poem (with a happy ending)
There once was a man named St. Valentine,
As time would pass he would be no friend of mine.
Lonely I would be, like someone lost at sea,
But still not worse than the time I was stung by that bee. (I’m allergic)
Now I realize that this may sound kind of sad,
But If I was saying how happy I was, everyone else would get mad.
Women can be hard to understand, unlike men,
Although we know their hearts melt after a song by Zhiwen.
But not all of us guys have a voice like a pro,
And because of this the girls may tend to say no.
Chocolates tend to impress, we’re sure of that,
But make sure to get them more than just an expired kit-kat.
We know It doesn’t matter even if we’re rich,
Maybe we could be helped by a visit from Hitch.
But even then, would our problems be negated?
It would seem the answer is no, Jordan thinks Hitch is overrated.
We could try to write girls nice poems, maybe that would impress,
But chances are we’d just end up alone on a Friday night playing online chess.
The sad fact is that I myself would not be alone,
Even sadder is the fact that I’d be hanging out with Mr. Stone.
I could make up cool words, I am after all a poet,
Shmameba is pure gold and it’s obvious that you know it.
We could write some songs, that could be the way,
With our talents combined we’d surely be better than Coldplay.
At the end of the day it’s really not our fault,
Is it that hard to find a nice girl who’ll enjoy going for a malt?
Apparently it is because our nights are uneventful,
But even with all of this, we’re still not resentful.
It’s very hard to find a girl that will give you a second look,
And it’s surprisingly hard to find ones that will enjoy The Notebook.
We may sound sad, and it’s true we may complain,
But without girls it would be like an April without the rain.
The ones that we know are special ones, it‘s clear,
We’re grateful that they’re around, that we have them near.
Will we find happiness with one nice girl? We’re hopeful that we may,
But until then to all the girls we wish a Happy Valentine’s Day.
(written February 2006)